Facebooking Couples: Are You on the Same Page?

Facebooking Couples: Are You on the Same Page?

Today I am so excited because I have a guest post from Alex Wise from Loveawake.com. He is a  recognized expert on love, marriage and relationships and he is amazing. He has shared with us Facebook makes it easy to hit on a friend of a friend.  I hope you learn more and enjoy the reading as I did.

Facebook’s privacy controls are growing, but there are still some dangers lurking in cyber happy land. To their list, I will add my own horror stories advice below.

(You may be asking, how much more sensitive can you be to privacy when you BLOG about things in your marriage, LBB? Oh, trust me. Facebook can be way more dangerous than this blog.)

Facebooking Couples

First, there are the posts that others write on my wall, pictures that get tagged, and comments that trickle their way through cyberspace. Personally, I have my FB page pretty locked down. But, the short Santa Baby dress I wore for a dance recently – well, let’s just say it made its way to Husband’s profile, which then allowed his clients to see it. (Naturally, I’m hoping Husband’s clients are thinking – how lucky is he?) I didn’t care. (It looks good.) Husband took it in stride. (He likes the outfit.) All was well.

But, then, recently, a nameless gentleman (you know who you are) posted on a listserv asking for advice on how to friend an ex-girlfriend so her husband wouldn’t find out. (What was he thinking? That, of the 1,000 people on the listserv, this matter would stay private?) One clever reader replied, tell her to also “friend” a good lawyer.

The truth is, nothing on Facebook stays private for long. So, to add to the marital Facebook-ing policies, I add my own thoughts not included in this article:

  1. Determine whether or not your Facebook page is for pleasure or business. And, I really, really encourage that your spouse’s and your ideas match. Why? See Santa Baby outfit example above.
  2. The past will find you. Remember your spouse may not know about – or have quite yet acknowledged – that you have a past. Anything you don’t want coming out? Well, be careful about friending those college buddies. They have those old pictures of you doing shooters in that awful 80s hair. Count on being tagged.
  3. To tag or not to tag?Did you invite everyone to your party? No? You had space restrictions like I did recently and could only squeeze in so many people? Well, know the pictures, while not necessarily embarrassing, alert everyone who wasn’t invited that, well, they weren’t invited. And your spouse may be questioned. Let them know this.
  4. Make sure you and your spouse agree on Facebook privacy controls. See listserv example above.
  5. Adhere to the golden rule. The only post on anyone’s wall what you wouldn’t mind having on your wall, have said about you or having your spouse, boss, children or 82-year-old grammie read about you. Play nice. Make your spouse proud to claim you.

Anyone else has anything they’d like to add?